Painful Lessons from Romania’s Decade-Old Adoption Ban

Russia's decision Jan. 1 to end adoptions to the U.S. could have lasting effects for parents and children caught in limbo.

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Micheline Pelletier / Corbis

Abandoned children rest in a hospital in Constanta, Romania, Oct. 16, 2006.

Four-year-old Alina stood in her diaper, her bright eyes looking past the end of her bottle at the American woman who intended to adopt her from a maternity hospital in rural Romania.

This is how Mary, who planned on raising Alina, recounts one of her earliest meetings with the girl. With the adoption paperwork complete, a signature from Romania’s prime minister was all that stood between Alina’s placement in a stable American home and a childhood in Romania without a family. It never happened.

In 2001, Romania placed a moratorium on international adoptions, and officially banned the practice four years later, citing widespread corruption in adoption practices across borders. Alina, now 16, is one of a thousand “pipeline kids” left in limbo when Romania banned international adoption.

A similar fate may now await hundreds of orphans in Russia, which ended adoptions to American parents on Jan. 1. Some 1,000 Russian adoption cases are said to be in the pipeline — meaning that paperwork has been completed and, in most cases, prospective parents have met with their intended adoptees as many as three times.

Russia’s decision to end American adoptions is seen as a political response to the U.S.’s Magnitsky Act, an anticorruption law aimed at human rights abuses in Russia. But the adoption of Russian children by Americans has been a contentious issue for years.

(MORE: 2 U.S. Adoption Agencies Closing, Citing Woes Abroad)

Tempers flared in 2010 when an American woman put her adopted seven-year-old son on a flight back to Russia, where he now lives, with a letter citing “severe psychopathic issues.” And in February, a three-year old Russian boy died two months after his adoption to a Texas couple, not long after another toddler from the same orphanage died after being left in a car by his American adoptive father. (The former death was ruled accidental, and the father was acquitted of involuntary manslaughter for the latter.)

While Russian officials have said that some of the pipeline cases may be completed, it remains unclear whether these children will make it to the U.S. The situation is hauntingly familiar for many of the families that intended to adopt children from Romania a decade ago.

“What I feel for these families right now and for these children, they are going to have a lot of unresolved grief,” says Julie Murrell, who was in the process of adopting a two-year-old girl, Cristina, when the Romanian ban went into effect. “After about a year we moved on. A lot of the families haven’t really been able to move on.”

After Romania blocked their adoption, Murrell, 52, and her husband, 48, sent a private investigator to the foster home where Cristina had been living. They learned that several potential Romanian adoptive families had visited and that the foster mother chose one for the little girl. Julie and her husband have not heard from Cristina since.

“We thought the country might reopen,” Murrell says. “Now we realize we were the luckiest because we had closure.”

Murrell and her husband went on to adopt twin girls from Russia five years ago. But the wound from their Romanian experience remains. Their son, in elementary school at the time, had told all of his friends he was getting a sister. Murrell’s mother keeps a photo of Cristina with those of her other grandchildren.

(MORE: Moscow Skeptical About US Autopsy of Russian Boy)

Before giving up the fight for Cristina, now 13, Murrell joined with other pipeline parents in an effort to pressure the Romanian government to allow pending adoption cases to go through. Members of the group traveled to Romania to petition officials. Murrell wrote a letter to President Traian Basescu, and met with then Romanian Prime Minister Adrian Nastase when he came to Washington, D.C.

“He did say very positive things and I remember leaving there thinking this is a really positive thing,” Murrell says. “When you are in the situation you hear what you want to hear. But when I look back at it I think, you know, he just wanted us to shut up.”

For many pipeline families, the most difficult moment was deciding whether or not to stay in contact with the Romanian children they had hoped to adopt. More than 10 years later, many of the cases remain unresolved.

Another American woman, Ann, and her husband had already adopted two brothers and had completed the paperwork for two girls from the same orphanage in Romania when the ban went into effect. Ann spoke on the condition of anonymity out of concern for the welfare of the girls.

Patricia and Gabriela are now 9 and 10. Ann used to visit them twice a year, but eventually stopped going because she was concerned about how it would affect the girls as they grew older. It has been four years since she last saw them.

“They knew that someone was going to adopt them,” Ann says. “It was a little devastating – that’s why I stopped visiting them. I felt it was unfair emotionally for them. They had pictures of me. … I am not sure what they have been told. I kind of don’t want to know.”

Though the girls have not been adopted, Ann says she believes they are being well taken care of in a private, Christian orphanage that houses about 35 children. Because of their age and the fact that they are of Roma descent, it’s unlikely they will be adopted domestically in Romania. “They will never have family,” Ann says.

(MORE: Adoption)

For children like Patricia and Gabriela, the adoption ban may have serious consequences as they enter adulthood.

Like other American prospective parents, Rita filed paperwork and paid thousands of dollars in fees in her effort to adopt one-year-old Delia, whom Rita’s aunt and uncle had come to know during their time in the Peace Corps. Rita spoke on the condition of anonymity because her family continues to visit Delia, now 12, and is still looking for a way to get her to the U.S.

“We were told she was Roma and that she probably would not be adopted,” Rita says. “I know that she’s never going to have a family. She’s going to turn 18 and she’s going to be turned out on the street, and I’m not going to let that happen.”

Romania has no formal national assistance program for orphans after they leave state institutions. Most must leave at age 18, when they become legal adults. Few of the country’s 75,000 orphans know how to manage money, find an apartment, prepare food or search for a job. Many end up homeless and turn to crime, like prostitution, when they age out.

The same challenges face many of the tens of thousands of Russian orphans lingering in state institutions. U.S. families adopted nearly 1,000 Russian orphans in 2011.

After her adoption fell through, bright-eyed Alina lived in a series of foster homes before landing in a state-run orphanage. Mary, the American who failed to adopt Alina but became her godmother a decade ago, worries about what will happen when she turns 18 and is still trying to get her to the U.S.

“There are always bad people lurking in the shadows,” Mary says a teacher in the orphanage’s small town told her, “observing, and waiting for their opportunity. Children like [Alina] often become prostitutes.”

She says Alina looks forward to turning 18 because she’ll be “free.”

“She doesn’t understand what that even means,” she says. “This is what wakes me up in the middle of the night.

The names of some children and parents were changed in this article.

59 comments
m4x1m
m4x1m

If the Americans wanted to help Romanian orphans ...... they would have created Romania adaptation centers adaptation and socialization to self life for Romanian orphans. Americans could help create a training professional system Romania orphans. Americans will not do it. Russia closed market of child trafficking. Americans want to establish trade Romanian orphans and compensate financial losses. 


Graduates orphanages. They are normal people. Do not have to lie that all orphans become idiots or criminals if Americans will not adopt them. That's a lie. How much money, effort and care the state will invest in these children .... get a return. If the state saves on orphans ..... then it raises the disabled state, beggars and criminals. 


Anniversary of a meeting of graduates of the orphanage № 1 (Altai). 

Foreigners not adopt children Buryat nationality in Russia. However, these children grow up and become successful people. 


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxQ-HY8J1o4


0303qDsa88
0303qDsa88

Human rights? The Americans met or very gently punished sadistic rapists, murderers who tortured raped murdered Russian children. Russian children do not have rights in the U.S.? If the Russian kid in the US is less important than the American dog ........ why are you outraged? U.S. spat in the direction of Russia. The U.S. does not like Russian children. U.S. does not respect Russia. Why do Americans want to adopt Russian children? WHY? because Russian children are beautiful and smart white children. Americans adopt Russian very small number of children with special needs. Do not lie so that Americans SAVE RUSSIAN CHILDREN. They buy a beautiful Russian toy. Trade DISCONTINUED. Africa and China in your possession but not long. These countries will not be reconciled with the American judicial arbitrariness and irresponsibility. When you insult someone else's child = you offend someone else's country.

Romanian
Romanian

Another propaganda pro-adoption and human trafficking thru the profitable inter-country adoption agencies ! What a shame !

sportsismylife42
sportsismylife42

All mommas know it: teenagers are hard. Three teenage girls are harder. Three teenage girls from different tribes and cultures and pasts trying to live together in one bedroom are harder still.

In an effort to be real, I want to tell you. Adoption is wonderful and beautiful and the greatest blessing I have ever experienced. Adoption is also HARD and painful. Adoption of older children is a beautiful picture of redemption. It is the GOSPEL in my living room. And some times, it just stinks.

As a parent, it stinks to not know when your daughter took her first steps or what her first word was or what she looked like in Kindergarten. It stinks not to know where she slept and whose shoulder she cried on and what the scar on her eyebrow is from. It stinks to know that for ten years of her precious life you were NOT the shoulder she cried on or the Mommy she hugged.

As a child, it stinks to remember your biological parents’ death, not matter how much you love your new Mom. It stinks to have your mom be a different color than you because, inevitably, people are going to ask why. It stinks that your Mom wasn’t there for all the times you had no dinner and all the times you were sick and all the times you needed help with your homework. It stinks when you have to make up your birthday. It skinks when you can’t understand the concept of being a family forever because your first family wasn’t forever.

And every single day, it is worth it. Because ADOPTION IS GOD’S HEART. He sets the lonely in families.Adoption is the reason that I can come before God’s throne and beg Him for mercy, because He predestined me to be adopted as His child through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.

My family, adopting these children, it is not optional. It is not my good deed for the day, it is not what I am doing to “help these poor kids out.” I adopt because God commands me to care for the orphans and the widows in their distress. I adopt because to whom much has been given, much will be demanded. I adopt because whoever finds his life will lose it but whoever loses his life for HIS sake will find it.

Some days, my friends, it is not easy. Today, it is not easy. The HURT in my daughters’ hearts is big and real and as their mother, I want to fix it and know that I CAN’T. So I lay it at the feet of my Father and rejoice to know that if we are children, then we are heirs - of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings - in order that we may also share in His glory. And I call out to the Holy Spirit knowing thatHe is able to save completely those who come to God through Him, because He always lives to intercede for us.

A sweet friend pointed me yesterday to Genesis Chapter 33. Esau and Jacob are meeting for the first time in a long time. As Jacob approaches Esau, with his many children following close behind, Esau asks, “ And who are these with you?”

Jacob’s reply: “These are the children that the Lord saw fit to bless me with.”

We get all the questions. “Why do you do it?” “Why so many?” “How in the world…” “Why these specific girls?” “Why the number 14?” “Do you think its ok to adopt as a single Mother? Don’t they need a father too?” “Do you think they will have issues since you are not the same race?” We also get the compliments. “I don’t know how you do it!” “Good job!” “You must be so responsible!” “Your girls must be so well behaved.” We get crazy stares and huge smiles and every look inbetween.

Adoption is beautiful. Adoption is hard. Adoption is the Gospel of Christ and the promise of God’s love and redemption lived out in our lives. So I ask for your prayers. Prayers for understanding and peace and trust and the power of God that is more than all I can ask or imagine. And to the questions and the comments and the compliments, this is my reply: “These are the children that the Lord saw fit to bless me with.”


 by Katie Davis go to her blog at amazima.org. She is incredible and listen to what she has done.. she saves Uganda children.

choosen7
choosen7

I am an American. I have adopted 3 children and am in the process of adopting a 12 year old. We also have biological children. One of our children is from Romania and is Roma decent.She was one of the fortunate to be adopted from Romania. The others are from the US. I lived in Romania for several years. I have seen with my own eyes cribs lined up with babies and the "nurses" in the staff room smoking and drinking coffee all day long. I have seen burns on babies who were taken back to their last given address in a Roma village and left in ditches. I have meet children who were there before the fall of communism and after. I also have seen selfless people; American, Sweedish, Canadian, and Romanian making a difference by adopting or supporting people who can adopt precious Romanian children. What I do have to comment is that there are people who have a love for the "least of these". Adoption is a beautiful thing. There are too many children without forever families. My husband and I have decided to do something about it. It doesnt matter where or how they came. We are determined to give themmily where they can grow and thrive.We are a middle class family in our early thirties. Adoption does cost. It costs your everyday life of patience, time, effort, support, and constant love. Romanians do not typically adopt especially since 90 percent of the orphans are of Roma decent. My little Roma-Romanian is doing just fine. I could care less of what anyone thinks of our family. She didnt end up in a ditch.

choosen7
choosen7

I am an American. I have adopted 3 children and am in the process of adopting a 12 year old. We also have biological children. One of our children is from Romania and is Roma decent.She was one of the fortunate to be adopted from Romania. The others are from the US. I lived in Romania for several years. I have seen with my own eyes cribs lined up with babies and the "nurses" in the staff room smoking and drinking coffee all day long. I have seen burns on babies who were taken back to their last given address in a Roma village and left in ditches. I have meet children who were there before the fall of communism and after. I also have seen selfless people; American, Sweedish, Canadian, and Romanian making a difference by adopting or supporting people who can adopt precious Romanian children. What I do have to comment is that there are people who have a love for the "least of these". Adoption is a beautiful thing. There are too many children without forever families. My husband and I have decided to do something about it. It doesnt matter where or how they came. We are determined to give them a family where they can grow and thrive and to give them a home where we will eventually be their childrens grandparents. We are a middle class family in our early thirties. Adoption does cost. It costs your everyday life of patience, time, effort, support, and constant love. Romanians do not typically adopt especially since 90 percent of the orphans are of Roma decent. My little Roma-Romanian is doing just fine. I could care less of what anyone thinks of our family. She didnt end up in a ditch.

MirahRiben
MirahRiben

@Alisa You can "think" what you want and make  accusations about me and you can live with blinders on, but facts are facts.  Why have adoptions been stopped in many nations? ABC news covered the corruption In Romania. This is way bigger than just little ole me with a chip on my shoulder saying so, Alisa! Open your eyes and READ the FACTS! 

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=123967&page=1

Profit, not care: The ugly side of overseas adoptions  http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/profit-not-care-the-ugly-side-of-overseas-adoptions-2293198.html

Adoption as Supply-and-Demand for Infertile Couples  http://www.americanmamacita.com/blog/adoption-as-supply-and-demand-for-infertile-couples/

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/profit-not-care-the-ugly-side-of-overseas-adoptions-2293198.html

Orphaned or Stolen: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/schuster-institute-for-investigative-journalism/orphaned-or-stolen-the-us_b_825451.html

Duped by Indian adoption agency, US family cautions couples. http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/politics/nation/Duped-by-Indian-adoption-agency-US-family-cautions-couples/articleshow/5964751.cms

Read Julia Rollings story at: http://bittersweet-story.blogspot.com/

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/columnists/christopherbooker/7840626/Big-money-to-be-made-in-the-adoption-trade.html

http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2010/09/07/anatomy_of_an_adoption_crisis

http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2011/10/black-market-babies-broken-families-in-china-confused-children-in-the-us/247329/

http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2008/10/15/the_lie_we_love

http://www.democracyjournal.org/17/6757.php?page=all

Re: CHINA

http://www.chinapost.com.tw/china/national-news/2012/06/17/344625/China-sentences.htm

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/8939661/Chinese-police-rescue-178-children-after-mass-child-trafficking-ring-bust.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/18/nyregion/chinas-adoption-scandal-sends-chills-through-families-in-united-states.html?pagewanted=1&_r=2

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/adoption-stories/200909/la-times-chinese-babies-stolen-foreign-adoption

http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/view/5824/

http://ouradopt.com/adoption-blog/jan-2009/juliafuller/was-baby-you-adopted-china-stolen-or-purchased 

Re Ethiopia:

http://allafrica.com/stories/201208061002.html

http://familypreservation.blogspot.com/2010/05/must-see-video-news-report-about-child.html

http://www.ethicanet.org/ethiopia-to-cut-foreign-adoptions-by-up-to-90-percent

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rani-hong/human-trafficking-prevention-month_b_1199395.html

Inside Ethiopia's Adoption Boom  http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304811304577368243366708110.html

"To focus on these children without focusing on their families or communities thus becomes an ignoble hypocrisy; as if to say, 'give us your huddled masses–but only if they are cute children and can be indoctrinated from an early age'.” 

Islamophobia and Adoption

Who Are the Civilized?

by Daniel Ibn Zayd / April 17th, 2012  http://dissidentvoice.org/2012/04/islamophobia-and-adoption/

MirahRiben
MirahRiben

@MistStilipec 

My name is Mirah Riben. Google me. I was born in Brooklyn NY. Full Blooded American citizen!

Not a Russian spy or paid to say anything I have said! Everything that i have said is documented fact based on nearly 40 years of researching, writing and speaking about adoption.

Lobbyists FOR the pro-adoption industry are the ones who do what they do for MONEY. Grassroots reformers like myself do what we do to help children in crisis just as UNICEF, SOS for children , Save the Children and many NGOs who work with families in crisis who state emphatically that International Adoption should be a last resort.


Follow the money and see which side is all about money. It's very simple. UNICEF has nothing to gain but helping kids and families! Adoption agencies and middlemen have deep pockets. 

MistStilipec
MistStilipec

One story you will never cover is the biological mothers and fathers whose lives are destroyed over the forced adoption of their children, children who often wind up in foster care for life.  You will never talk about American families right here who lose thir constitutional rights and their parental rightsin a court of law because adoption law is written by adoption agencies to disenfranchise parents under the law and give unequal rights to a stranger to abduct a child and claim that forced bonding is love.  You will never talk about it being exploitive or child abuse for adoptiove parents and agnecies to recieve federal money that should have been given to the parents so they can raise thier own children.  You will never talk about an adoption certificate costs up to $60,000 and that rather than plucking a few children form a poor country that this money would be better spent on fertility research in the US and in building schools in the poorer countries.  All you will ever talk about is how sad it is that some stranger bonds over a child that is not there and cries when corrupt and illegal child trafficking otherwise known as abusive adoption is questioned and stopped.

pendragon05
pendragon05

For the longest time I have questioned this social practice of having children as a status symbol. In the United States, it is understandable why adoption is so difficult within our borders, the reason for so much red tape; to weed out those who want direct access to children (pedophiles) but more importantly, those who simply want a child to complete that status.

MirahRiben
MirahRiben

Apparently, this needs repeating for the sake of @rpearlston:

The question is whether we should continue to allow international adoption from a nation that wants it stopped for good reason.
The fact that children are abused and killed by their biological parents is a very sad fact of life that is beyond horrible, but it is NOT at issue here. Children are born often as a result of accident or to parents unfortunately ill-equipped or knowledgeable on child care. Some are far too young others are just simply ignorant and do not know that you must not ever shake a baby, for instance. Some are overworked and tried. Some are abusing substances or have anger control issues. None of this is an excuse, but it explains it.  There is no excuse for anyone abusing any child. And, unfortunately, there is no test on parenthood and no way to stop bad parents from reproducing. 
Adoption, however, is supposed to be the safety net for children who not have family to provide safe care for them. 
Those who adopt are supposed to be above reproach. We expect them to be highly motivated - not becoming parents accidentally. We expect that they are vetted and have passed home studies and have no criminal background. We do not expect that such parents who try to hard and go out of their way and spend thousands of dollars to be entrusted with others' children in need, would harm them!  Even ONE child harmed by those entrusted with their care - intentionally -  is unacceptable, let alone NINETEEN !
Proof? Here it is: 
http://adoption.about.com/od/adoptionrights/p/russian_children_murdered_by_adoptive_parent.htm

JeffreyGeezGlavick
JeffreyGeezGlavick

@ MaureenFlatley---There is the hippocratic oath and then there is the Hypocritical Boast, that would be the USA telling the world in Ronald Reagan's exact words:" America is the moral conscience of the World" and he said this Before Alzheimer's set in.

FreidaPotter
FreidaPotter

It is also worth noting that the US violated the adoption treaty with Russia FIRST - by failing to allow Russian officials consular access to an abused Russian-born boy in Florida in November 2012. The adoption treaty came into force that same month! If the USA cannot be bothered to hold up its end of a treaty that has been in force for a couple of weeks, why should russia? Actions have consequences. (The US violated the treaty a second time by failing to inform Russia of Max Shatto's death in a timely manner - as required by the treaty regardless of the cause of death). These actions have given Russia legitimate grounds for banning US adoptions.

It's also worth noting that Canada and Europe are still permitted to adopt Russian kids - countries that have not violated their adoption treaties with Russia OR killed their Russian-born kids. Only Americans are banned from adopting.

I don't think it's a coincidence!

MirahRiben
MirahRiben

Russia has the RIGHT and the obligation to care for and protect its children, as does every nation.

The United nations and many other NGOs who work on the ground with children and families in crisis all say that International Adoption should be a last resort.  I didn't make this up. I am an investigative journalist and REPORT the facts, i do not create them. And I am far from alone. read the works of David Smolin and adoptive father an law professor who is the leading expert on child trafficking for adoption. Read E.J. Graff's (a journalist with no personal ties to adoption) articles on the subject.

Russia has the RIGHT and obligation to care for its children as it sees fit! Period! What is it anyone else's business? No one OWES anyone a child! 

MirahRiben
MirahRiben

The fact is that 19 Russian children adopted by Americans were MURDERED by those who vowed to care for them, and countless others are being abused or abandoned. Many are sent to The Ranch for kids in Minnesota.

The fact is that there more than 100,000 children in US state care who could be adopted but are ignored because they are thought to be "damaged." Russian children are sought after because they are white but often suffer fetal alcohol syndrome and the effects of institutionalization that adopters are unprepared for and many cannot deal with.

Each nation needs to care for its own children in care and do its best t prevent the crisis that bring children into care by providing cost free birth control, affordable day care, sufficient jobs, etc.

Taking children one at a time out of their cultural heritage does nothing to ameliorate the poverty or other woes of their families, villages or nations. Adoption has become a mega-billion dollar industry importimng and exporting children to meet a demand. We need to focus on what is best for the children and that is providing them the care they need and deserve within their own nation.

There is nothing altruistic about paying tens of thousands of dollars to "rescue" one child and have much of that money go to unscrupulous baby brokers who often steal or kidnap children to meet the demand, when those funds could be used instead to supply water, medical supplies or schools for children in need, especially in places like ethiopia which is the newest poor nation to be EXPLOITED by money-hungry child traffickers.

Stop the insanity!

Mirah Riben, author, THE STORK MARKET: America's Multi-Bullion Dollar Unregulated Adoption Industry

JeffreyGeezGlavick
JeffreyGeezGlavick

One question remains: that American women who put the Russian 7 yr.old  child on a plane by himself??? how pray tell. Normally that is Impossible and also illegal, so how did an unaccompanied minor fly?

MaureenFlatley
MaureenFlatley

There are 25,000 "Alinas" who age out of foster care in this country every year - 250,000 since Romania's adoption ban when into effect.  Where is the outrage for those children?

xsponcex
xsponcex

@0303qDsa88  

" when you insult someone else's child you offend their country"


How so? furthermore where did you get your education, because that has to be one of the most ignorantly opinionated comments I've ever read. 

Also who assigned you to speak for all of Russia, you know being the biggest country in the world, massively populated, and extremely rich with resources, it seems kind of arrogant to think you could speak for all who live there, especially the children in Russia and surrounding countries like Romania, Ukraine, Belarus, Estonia and all others that you Russians seem to think you own and speak for... Cold war is over man, Communism fell.

MarlaKougias
MarlaKougias

@choosen7  i was adopted from romania. :) thank you for helping us. :) i hope your daughter is doing well :) tell her i say hi :) trust me when i say, she knows you are there for her always. she knows beyond any doubt in her heart that you will love her no matter what. it is hard being adopted. there is a lot to figure out. but we know that our families are our true families. no matter what we look like, you are the ones who are there for us now. and always will be. :) she love you no matter what :) 

thank you for helping us. ;)

sportsismylife42
sportsismylife42

@MirahRiben STOP! please! this isnt about the facts, about ur reseearch.... trajedy happens everywhere ... but look beyond all that..... there are billions of children without a family without a "life" that are only living bc they breathe.  no one could care if u know research and evidence... its all talk... this is lives ur arguing about. 

look u dont know anything... you seriosuly dont. u ever been abandoned? u ever worry about wondering when ur next meal is, ever have to tell yourslef that you are wanted, were u an infant that cried and cried and never had anyone comfort you,, can u say u dont know what its like to be rocked, to be comforted and get that regulation when a baby... have u ever had to imagine what ur parents looked like or what their voice sounds like... have u ever had ur heart ripped out for so long and then have a family and have no idea how to love them, know what RAD is, do u bang ur head at night bc thats what u did to comfort yourwslef in the crib in the orphange or rock ur self bc u there was never someone there to hold you, to let you know u are worth it let you know u are loved?  - thought so! 

i have. thats what russia has done to me. i would prob be dead if i was still in russia. but my u.s family gave me hope, love, surgury, gave me a life of opportunity. i struggle everyday.. i am affected with my relationships bc of my early past... and what sucks is that we dont know much of anything of my history.... look every kid deserves a family desrves a chance to be loved... dont matter how long... just a chance. it aint happening in russia..... who's there only hope?  us. oh wait russia ruined took thier hope also. 


Alisa
Alisa

@MirahRiben Mirah, yes -- you can swamp the world with articles from obscure anti-adoption interest groups, nationalistic government groups, and journalists interested in cleaning up international adoptions from corrupt practices.  (By the way, we are ALL interested in cleaning up corruption from international adoptions.  And domestic adoption.  And society in general.)

I could also swamp you with many MORE articles written by children happy to have been adopted from orphanages.  And letters from children in orphanages who deeply desire parents.  And articles written by journalists describing  how corruption in international adoptions HAS been cleaned up and led to fortunate circumstances.  

I'm sure there are many MORE happy stories that would not get written about - because they are the norm. 

Mirah, I could even swamp you with articles written about how the adoption ban in Russia was passed because of Russian opposition to the Magnitsky Act (representing Russian government SUPPORT of corruption.  But that type of Russian corruption is okay with you, isn't it?  Oh my, Mirah, where do we go from here?)

For the record, the US government is, as you surely must now, interested in stamping out corruption in international adoptions, while supporting adoption in general. 

If you were a true adoption advocate, you would be ALSO in favor of cleaning up bad practices while supporting happy, healthy, and loving homes to orphans.  

But, strangely, you are not.  Which makes many people in the world wonder what your intentions are, you you represent, and whether you are benefiting from this strange, twisted advocacy in some way, shape, or form....

xsponcex
xsponcex

@MirahRiben  

You sound in need of some education yourself, and normally I would not waste fair words on foul people, but I have a voice and we are all entitled to our opinions, that is what makes our countries and the west so much better, it"s called Democracy.  I am Canadian, and I also am not being paid to say things my government wants, but if we all thought the same way, or rather, like you (Mirahriben) the world would indeed be a boring and bland place.


Fist of all I will not take advice, or even take seriously, anything to be said or written, by a person who claims to be superior just because they are an American citizen, especially when they can't even speak correctly or use grammar in they're sentences.  Humans are Humans. Regardless of their ethnicity, religion, birthplace, or skin color. We all deserve to be loved, clothed, fed, and given the most basic of chances. Without empathy our world would truly be hell on earth, as it is for these children who have grown ( if that is what you could call it ) in these situations of absolute despair, being denied the most basic functions of love, that are truly detrimental to the development of these children who deserve nothing less than Love... unconditionally.  We are a product of our environments.

Do not get me wrong, I am not saying that corruption doesn't exist, because it does and not just in this, but in everything, and everywhere. There will always be people with self serving intentions, looking to manipulate any system for their benefit. but it doesn't mean the system it's self is bad but rather the few looking to take advantage of it.

My advice to anyone who thinks helping a hopeless child is a bad thing, simply because there are people out there trying to capitalize on it, is simply to look within yourself, if you have a child or children try to imagine them, or anyone you love in a similar position, look in their eyes and think of them sitting in they're own excrement and urine, howling in desperate distress and anguish, with an empty belly, with no one to hear you weep. Sitting in an endless hell with no comprehension of why, too young to understand the world around you or the forces of evil that have led the world to treat our future with such HATE. What are children if not the Future. WE ALL DESERVE OPTIONS IN LIFE no matter who we are or where we are from, we all start in innocence and to corrupt that innocence before we even understand it is the saddest sound of all.

Alisa
Alisa

@MirahRiben Yes, Mirah, you are an active anti-adoption advocate because you had a bad experience yourself.  I have many adopted friends who don't agree with your advocacy (anti-advocacy?).  Their experience with adoption has been completely different.  Because you had a bad experience,  you feel the need to slander adoptions as an entire practice.  The sad thing is that you will leave many children languishing without parents.  Never mind that many of the abuses you complain about have been mitigated or rectified.  

I'm sorry you had a bad experience.  I feel for you.  However, you shouldn't ruin adoption as a practice for the many children whose lives would be vastly better off for being adopted.   

That being said, many people think your name is being used by Russian advocates and that some of your posts are made in your name - but not by you. 

Alisa
Alisa

@MistStilipec These statements are not true.  Most adoptions in the US are open or semi-open now.  Agencies and attorney-facilitated adoptions generally agree in advance, with the birth mother and the foster parents, how much of a role the biological parent will have in the adopted child's life.  Sometimes this will involve meeting a few times a year, sometimes more, sometimes less.  Social workers facilitating adoptions counsel adoptive parents that adopted children fare better when they know who their biological parents are.  A birth mother does not need to surrender her child to an adoptive parent who will not agree to this, unless the birth mother does not want contact.  

The stories of children who are taken from their parents and placed into foster care usually involve abuse or neglect.  Severe abuse and neglect, one might add.  In fact, this is why it is difficult to find adoptive parents for children in foster care:  most states work hard to place the children back with biological parents.  Potential adoptive parents are afraid to bond with a child, knowing that that child can be taken away from them.  Many foster parents have grown biological children of their own and can handle this loss.  

I don't understand why MistStillpec is commenting on adoptions in the US when he/she does not know much about the current practices.  It is very strange.

Alisa
Alisa

@pendragon05 I think people who are more concerned with "status" would not have children at all.  It is more likely that those who want to adopt have love to spare and want to share it with a child or children who need love.  How can adoption be perceived as a status symbol?  That is a strange, non-sequitur comment (made, probably, by someone who would never adopt him or herself).

MaureenFlatley
MaureenFlatley

@JeffreyGeezGlavick If the US government does not engage in serious regulation of international adoption - in fact domestic adoption as well - it will be the greatest hypocrisy in US public policy.  We regulate everything else and subsidize and cap costs in many other businesses.  Yet adoption as a "state law" issue remains beyond the reach of Uncle Sam?  Seriously?  Ridiculous, hypocritical, pathetic.

sportsismylife42
sportsismylife42

@MirahRiben Gonki hi, i am also a child from russia.. i am 14 yrs old and i have so much to say about all this. I see from both sides. But what you said i cant agree with you.. Its not just U.S. its everywhere anywhere you go you will see bullies, see pain, see things that will break your heart. thats apart of life. U.S isnt bad. Just bc there are some bad people doesnt represent the billions of others.  the thing is yea theres trajedy and we go through rough times, but it only makes us stronger and wiser. I have a whole lot of problems with my family, with my peers ect.. but its not bc i am a russian and that automatically makes me a victim. i hate russia. i hate them, bc of what happened to me as a baby, abandoned and neglected in the orphange for they say 2 and a half yrs.... but we dont know if that my true cronological age bone tests and growth and intellignece prove to be couple years older. and what really hurts the most for american families with their adopted child from russia.... is the backround, its the histoy of the child and its family. I think others could agree that not knowing the history records the files the inforrmation really makes it really hard to figure out how to give the adopted child a fullfilled life and all of its opportuniy's or in my situation ... getting the right diagnoses and getting help  with education IEP, ect. we dont know what the truth is, we dont have any information to back us up bc my adopted parents were told they could not give any info and are better off not knowing anything bc something could happen if my bio mom found out where i was ect. thats a plain lie. thats bull. both u.s and russia are at fault in various ways.... but russia completley banning U.S to adopt. thats just cruel and so wrong. They are hurting "their own" children... just bc they want justice from U.S. those children in russia orphanages, out on the streets, they are hurting each and every single day that passes by.... american parents are the only hope for those children. they dont know what love is, they dont know how to laugh, they prob dont even know what life is... those kids dream for a family... and they know that U.S is a country that cares and that will someday possibly become their home. 


i was born with a Cleft lip and Palate, i was abandoned and neglected at an orphange. at age 1 and a half, i couldnt talk, i couldnt sit on my own, i couldnt stand, i could hardly crawl. I had 30% hearing loss in one ear and 80% hearing loss in the other... and they didnt even know. They thought i could hear them and that i was healthhy ect. They lie and make the broken children sound perfectly healthy and that u wont regret adopting this child. they are AFRAID that if they tell the TRUTH about the child's past, the child's health.. that U.S parents or whoever want to adopt.. will not want to adopt the child anymore bc they know the childs condition... possibly it will reflect how poorly orpahnages and the adults care for children... it will reflect the way Russia ppl are. Look those children are damaged since day one, i am one that is damaged... the most important time for someone to get their needs met and get the love... is when they are an infancy.. their first year. If they dont get that and they dont get it till 2,3, 4 or older years of age..... they are damaged they missed out on something that every child needs.. its someething that can not be ever repaired can never be replaced.. the years of no love, no attention ect, it is soemthing that can never be made up for, never be re-lived never be replaced. time can never be replaced, never can be made up especially for a child missing out on what no child should ever ever have to go through... but it happens.. There is no solution to fix the children who missed out for however long, no one can ever repair their past.... but anyone can stand and give them hope, give them a chance to live a life fully... give them a life full of opportunity... give them a future. 


my family thhat i have now has saved my life.. they gave me a real "chance" at life. and any orphan deep down.. thats all they hope for.. just a CHANCE for a life. a chance to experience a family, love, experience what evry child Deserves to have but sadly not all children get that.




as u can tell i have so much to say, i have so much more to say.... and as i continued to write.. this is about mmy feelings toward russia.. toward everyone... ur comment just helped me get started. i respect what u have to say.... its just i think there is more to see and look at for Everyone and anyone to look at.  i so want to tell russian government the people there i want to tell them my story and make them realize what they are doing. that they need to be honest at the begiining and U.S also need to be upfront... adults need to work together to work and support a broken, hurt, and emotional ect problmatic child. does this make sense? this is a response i had to @gonki but i wanted to share it with you.

it doesnt matter that u research and write or whatever.... sure u may know a lot ect... but its not at all the same as to someone who has EXPERIENCED this... who truly went and understands things that only ppl who go thru it can relate and "feel" the pain.  everyone has their opinions everyone can have research evidence to back up their belief ect... bbut the ones everyone should really listen to are the children who live thru it, who experience it... who understand it




sportsismylife42
sportsismylife42

@MirahRiben 19 kids were murdered or whatever from U.S and thats sad .... but ewveryone dies at soem point... kids die from bombing from guns from car crashes from anything..... but u know what 1000 of kids have been adopted and have been given a chance at life! the kids in russia in orphanages guess what THEY ARE DEAD>>. they dont have a life! sure they are breathing but thats just what is keeping them alive. Do they have any motivation, any reason to live... they ae dead emotionally, spiritually, they only live bc there body is lettin them live. But being alive doesnt mean u have a "life". whats the meaning to life? just if u can breathe than u have a life? hell no, they didnt choose to be born they didnt choose... and i bet if those children could choose if they wanted to continue to live the life they have as an orphan there and have now not only emotinallly and spiritually and mentally... But now their HOPE is gone bc of the russian governemtn and their decision... if they were asked if they still wanted to live.. or if they could choose to never be alive to not be here in tbis world not ever be born... i bet you most of those orphans would choose to be dead choose to never been born bc of the life they are already facing and then they get their hopes crushed by a single signature.  i know how it feels not to be loved, to be alone, to have unanswered questions, i know pain. 


i dont know who the heck you are, but all i want to say is .... this issue isnt about who is right or wrong, or who knows the most "research" or whatever. this issue is children not having a life.... not getting the opportunities that evry child DESERVES to have..... russia cant provide a family for those children... americans can nevr repair the broken children... can never repay the child the love they misseed out for however long.... the time can never be made up the children missed out on things they so badly needed but will NEVER evr get to experience what they missed out.  

Russia isnt providing those children a FUTURE... a dream for them... russian parents gave them up, u really think other russian parents will adopt a russia child... NO... U.S can, many parents want to not for money not so they can murder the child or whatever.... but bc they have a heart and they have a sense that the children are damaged in many ways.. but in hopes that they can provide a life and a future for the children, they want the children to feel loved as if it is thier own blood... most of all they just want the children to know they are wanted, that what they have been thru is not what life is about, that there is much more than to just be  "breathing". Read my story in my other comments and maybe you will only begin to have a sense of understanding. 

Alisa
Alisa

@MirahRiben I don't think that adoption is a "mega-billion dollar business".  The adoptions in Romania and Russia were of orphans in orphanages, not "stolen" from happy families.  If a Romanian or Russian orphan is going to end up on the street, addicted to drugs or involved in prostitution, how does this help Romania's or Russia's "cultural heritage"?  That's a weird definition of "cultural heritage", if you ask me.

Perhaps orphans have a better chance of observing their cultural heritage even if they are adopted.  Most of the children I have met, who have been adopted from foreign countries, are aware of their heritage, study their ethnic languages (e.g., in college, if not younger), and even want to visit those countries and their former orphanages as they mature.  The parents I know what to take them there.  Adoption counselors who perform home studies actually counsel prospective adoptive parents to do this.  It is accepted practice now and is considered healthy. 


Chinamomof2
Chinamomof2

It's too bad you weren't forced to live without a family like so many of these chldren.  You clearly have a chip on your shoulder and don't even understand what these kids are going through.  You were fortuante.  You had everything...these kids have NOTHING.  Not even a family.  Every child in the WORLD deserves a family.  How many teenage Americans have you adopted?  That's what I thought...none.  Put your money where your mouth is and live what you preach.

MaureenFlatley
MaureenFlatley

@JeffreyGeezGlavick We let 25,000 children walk out of foster care by themselves every year here.  In some states they can't find the minor children who are in their care.  We pay a lot of lip service to children in this country.  Maybe if they were whales we could keep track of them.  But actually human beings not so much.

Chinamomof2
Chinamomof2

Why be so Xenophobic?  At least the American foster kids get an education before they are put out on the streets.  Most kids in other countries don't even get that.  Many are thrown out at a much younger age with nothing - try 14.  EVERY child deserves a family...not just "Americans".

m4x1m
m4x1m

@xsponcex


Belarus protects their children and do not allow mass selling of orphans. Foreigners rarely Belarusian adopt orphans. Therefore Belarusian children have no habits himself beat and kill himself.   

Belarusian orphans 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxUmFmFP3vo

MaxiC
MaxiC

@xsponcex If the state does not want to protect foster children ..... that the state should not adopt foreign children. In a foreign country nobody even weep over the lost child. Adoptive parents vying watered dead kid mud to escape responsibility. "Child killed himself". "Child himself beaten." Always turns Child himself starved. What will happen? Child himself raped, killed himself and himself buried in the ground?
Not always  foster family  better than a  orphanage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03Jcv06mL2M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3HArwsfEd8

MaxiC
MaxiC

About Children Romania Ukraine Belarus Estonia will take care ..... native, independent state. In Russia there are more than 200 different nations and nationalities. However, foreign adoptive parents prefer to adopt in Russia is Russian children. All children are equally precious and needed in Russia. These are not empty words. This is a consequence of demographic abyss. After the collapse of the USSR was the strongest economic crisis in Russia. In this period of intense freedom and democracy ...... people were dying en masse, but the children were not born. Russia lost more than 6 million people. For example, in Estonia has   1  291,170 people. Estonia 6 times could die out completely ..... if the West had "helped" Estonia ALSO as "helped" Russia. Now Russia has banned the adoption for the United States. Because these children are too expensive and precious. This profligacy .... if Americans can kill with impunity ..... intent and unintentional. Also American ways "treatment" RAD not recognized global medicine. Attachments therapy is child abuse. Therefore, Russia has protected our children from impunity kills and legal abuse in the United States.

sportsismylife42
sportsismylife42

@Alisa @MirahRiben alisa i agree with u. Look it domnt matter what experiance u have thru te adoption process.... its worth it for a child's life thats the reason u should be doing it. 

I am a child who has been thru the experience. i am from russia. mirah, put urslef in a childs shoes see what life is thru theeir eyes..... let go of the research and other "evidence" use ur heart.... or just stop talking. 

u dont know anything... u reeally dont and u never will, u never will understand. LOTS of ppl will never truly understand how much it hurts, how it affects u forever... u cant understand something like that unless you experience it. u can imagine and step into someones view of life or whatever..... but it isnt the same at all. 

pendragon05
pendragon05

@Alisa I was stating that some people (those unable to reproduce) will use adoption to achieve that status symbol of having a child. 

Alisa
Alisa

@MaureenFlatley @JeffreyGeezGlavick Maureen, you don't seem to know much about US government policy and adoptions.  In countries where there is demonstrated abuse, the US government has SHUT adoptions down.  You might do some research on Haiti and Guatemala, to name just a few countries.  In other cases, the US embassy will investigate situations in which adoptions have been coerced, or in which parents did not know they have given up their children for adoption permanently.

FreidaPotter
FreidaPotter

@Chinamomof2 Yes, telling Russia that the 19-20 dead Russian kids are an "oopsie" does not appear to be an effective strategy for getting Russia to lift the ban.

Nor does it account for the non-lethal ways in which Russian-born adoptees have been horrifically and repeatedly abused in the USA:

- Masha Allen was adopted and sexually abused by pedophile Michael Mancuso for five years; she was rescued but abused by her second adoptive parent Faith Allen (whose parental rights were revoked). Masha aged out of US foster care a couple of years ago.

- Ksenia Anatova's first adoption disrupted; her second adoptive daddy sexually assaulted her and claimed it was CONSENTUAL bc she was 16 at the time.

Russia's entitled to prefer their kids are not adopted to a country that has abused too many of them!!

MirahRiben
MirahRiben

@Chinamomof2 

I've read "Romania for Export Only".  Have you? 

And again what part of "there are more than 100,000 children in the US without families" don't you understand?.

And what part of NINETEEN murdered Russian adopted kids are you incapable of comprehending? More abandoned and abused....

rpearlston
rpearlston

@MaureenFlatley Maureen, you didn't answer the question.  You instead spewed rhetoric that is irrelevant to the question, to even the concept of the question.

Personally, I'd like to see your answer to the actual question instead of seeing you skirting the issue entirely.

MaureenFlatley
MaureenFlatley

@Chinamomof2 On the contrary and your observation is ill informed.   Sixty nine percent of aged out foster children have not graduated from high school.  Fewer than 5% will ever graduate from college.  More than half will be homeless almost immediately.  Half will experience severe untreated mental illness, addiction and other issues we as a country ignore.  Many will end up in the criminal justice system where they will ironically receive their first real health care ever.  I could go on.  You're missing the point.  At the same time I have spent years living and working in Romania's most desperate orphanages serving the most injured and damaged children.  The Romanians themselves have moved mountains to create a domestic adoption program there and many of my colleagues who started programs decades ago to create family based care are still there serving those children.  I advocate for children all over the world.  I just think it's disgusting that in the world's richest country we have a track record that compares poorly w/ Eastern Europe.

MirahRiben
MirahRiben

@Chinamomof2 

It is xenophobic to believe that we have something to offer orphans from other counties when we cannot even take care of our own and 19 Russian adoptees have been MURDERED by their adopters and unknown numbers of other abused and abandoned. 


sportsismylife42
sportsismylife42

@MirahRiben actually i shoudl ssssay it like this... you will never understand how it feels to be abandoned neglected, u will never understand or feel that, unless you never experienced it when u were a baby. but u had a family u got ur neeeds met as a baby, u cant undo that u cant repair it or replace it u cant ever explain how it feels

just like a child who never had experienced it as an infant.... they cant understand how it feels or know how it feels to be rocked comforted get that regulation between the mother when an infant, they wont ever know, i wont ever know, and{ we} wont ever be able to know it or ever experience it... we missed out... it can never be replaced, never relived, never be repaired. it hurts


Alisa
Alisa

@pendragon05 @Alisa If that is the case, isn't anyone who has a child susceptible to using that child as a status symbol?  Why would someone who would adopt be more susceptible to that?  

In fact, since so many of the children in Romania and Russia have issues related to the legacy of being institutionalized, I would think that someone who adopts from those countries would expect more problems, and hence less "status".  You would have to invest more time in helping a child with emotional and/or developmental issues.  You would be thinking much more of the child, than of yourself. 

MaureenFlatley
MaureenFlatley

@Alisa @MaureenFlatley @JeffreyGeezGlavick You could not be less well informed.  I have been on the forefront of demanding more responsible regulation of adoption by the US for more than 20 years.  I worked in Romania, Ukraine, Moldova and have investigated thousands of cases of abuse involving AMERICAN service providers.  I worked for the Romanian govt when THEY, not the US, shut adoption down due to rampant abuses and child trafficking to which the US turned a blind eye.  I have worked with high profile victims of abuse from Russian who were adopted by Americans.  The "regulation" to which you speak now is the by product of work that I and others have done to demand that the US protect all parties to adoption.  And I was directly involved in cases in both Guatemala and Haiti.  I'm currently working on cases of Ethiopian children trafficked into the adoption system then abandoned by poorly screened US families.  

And just what is your expertise in adoption?

MaureenFlatley
MaureenFlatley

@FreidaPotter Freida, you are absolutely correct.  I worked w/ Masha Allen while she was in Faith's custody and have encyclopedic knowledge about her home study w/ Mancuso and everything that arose from her adoption by Allen.  Ultimately she was adopted by a third family and seems to be doing well.  But her case is textbook.  Adopted by predator....rushed into an adoption by an abuser....all covered up w/ little or no recourse because there are no regulations.  Disgusting.  Wake up, people.

rpearlston
rpearlston

@MirahRiben Compared to the number or US children murdered every year by the adults who are supposed to take care of them?  Compared to that, 19 barely registers.

That doesn't mean that I look down on adopted children in particular or children in general.  I don't, and I never will.  But you're refusing to acknowledge the concept of perception.  If you did, you'd understand that railing about the fate of these 19 children is meaningless unless you rail just as hard, if not harder (because of the numbers) for every child murdered in the US by their caregivers.

MaureenFlatley
MaureenFlatley

@rpearlston @MaureenFlatley What's your point?  I say that America neglects it's children and Romania has made great strides dealing w/ theirs.  I've spent 30 years fighting this problem.  I don't "skirt" anything.  I've lived it.  I repeat.  What's your point?

FreidaPotter
FreidaPotter

@MaureenFlatley @Chinamomof2 Sadly, aged-out US foster kids have life outcomes that are virtually identical to those of aged out Russian orphans.

Perhaps the US is not in the best of all possible positions to tell Russia how to deal with child welfare issues??

Alisa
Alisa

@pendragon05 @MirahRiben Bizarre comment.  So a 16-year old girl who has a child is right to do so, because it is normal and natural and "just happened"?  

Meanwhile, parents who have children later in life, because they took the time to meet the right person,  build savings to care for the child, buy a home so that the child will never be homeless, etc., does not have the right to have a child because they might need to use IVF and it is not "natural"?

Pendragon, please.  You fell down a rabbit hole.

Alisa
Alisa

@MichelePlunk Michele, you have to be aware that there are anti-adoption trolls and plants on this site.  I've heard that some of them are subsidized (maybe even by the Russian government).  On many of these articles, they cut and paste the same talking points from Russian nationalists and the Russian government.  They pretend to be American, but sometimes their sentence structure is not at all American (and changes from post to post, even from the same "poster").  Moreover, their understanding of US society is very lacking.  You can tell from the posts that they pick and choose statistics and that their understanding of US society does not match reality. That's probably because they don't live here.  Don't be upset and enraged. It does make sense to challenge their logic (which is easy to do), but don't let it ruin your day. 

pendragon05
pendragon05

@MirahRiben that's exactly why I believe some people adopt children for all of the wrong reasons, just like some people breed for all of the wrong reasons. I am 100% opposed to IVF as it is NOT natural at all. If someone is unable to reproduce, then there is probably a very good reason for it. Nature has ways of balancing itself, and with over 8 million people on the planet, it's not going to get any better. The fact that our society is so baby- and child-centered doesn't exactly help, either.

MirahRiben
MirahRiben

@MichelePlunk

The question is whether we should continue to allow international adoption from a nation that wants it stopped for good reason.

The fact that children are abused and killed by their biological parents is a very sad fact of life that is beyond horrible, but it is NOT at issue here. Children are born often as a result of accident or to parents unfortunately ill-equipped or knowledgeable on child care. Some are far too young others are just simply ignorant and do not know that you must not ever shake a baby, for instance. Some are overworked and tried. Some are abusing substances or have anger control issues. None of this is an excuse, but it explains it.  There is no excuse for anyone abusing any child. And, unfortunately, there is no test on parenthood and no way to stop bad parents from reproducing. 

Adoption, however, is supposed to be the safety net for children who not have family to provide safe care for them. 

Those who adopt are supposed to be above reproach. We expect them to be highly motivated - not becoming parents accidentally. We expect that they are vetted and have passed home studies and have no criminal background. We do not expect that such parents who try to hard and go out of their way and spend thousands of dollars to be entrusted with others' children in need, would harm them!  Even ONE child harmed by those entrusted with their care - intentionally -  is unacceptable, let alone NINETEEN !

Proof? Here it is: 

http://adoption.about.com/od/adoptionrights/p/russian_children_murdered_by_adoptive_parent.htm


JeffreyGeezGlavick
JeffreyGeezGlavick

@MaureenFlatley- What the USA is best at in all things is telling other countries how to behave, or as that policy is better known worldwide: do as we say, not as we do.

MaureenFlatley
MaureenFlatley

@MichelePlunk This is a completely false equivalency.  Mirah (and I) are among scores of people who have tracked and investigated these cases for years.  The whole point is that these are children who have already been victimized.....it is incumbent upon the American system to do a better job of screening and vetting families.  Like many of my colleagues I have worked to root out corruption while also traveling abroad to create, support and sustain work being done in country.  But I repeat.....it is a fool's errand to criticize policies that are not being applied in the good old US of A.  This is the real national and international disgrace.


MichelePlunk
MichelePlunk

MirahRiben...WHERE are you getting your so-called "statistics?"  Are these statistics prior to 2007? How many USA children do you think are MURDERED and NEGLECTED EVERY YEAR by their BIOLOGICAL parents???  19 doesn't even BEGIN to "tip the iceburg!"  You obviously have not spent ANY TIME in juvenile court systems where these AMERICAN children are exploited, neglected and often KILLED at the hands of their American parents.  WHERE exactly are all of these "more than 100,000 children in the US who are available for adoption?"  YES...in a perfect world, we could solve the world's problems by providing economic assistance to THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD so that NO ONE would EVER have to sell their children into sexual slavery or commit them to government run institutions over crowded and under funded.  As a matter of fact, many families with internationally adopted children HAVE started charitable organizations in the countries of their children's birth so that they can help prevent other mothers and fathers from having to give up their children.  Do I believe that there needs to be International Adoption Reform?  ABSOLUTELY!  Do I believe that there needs to be US Adoption Reform?  100%!  But, that begins with being a part of the solution and not just the person who dedicates themselves to exposing the "problems."