Love Gone Wrong: Five Weird Sex-Related Injuries

Because love is a battlefield

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An Australian court ruled Wednesday that a woman who was hit by a falling piece of glass while having sex on company time won’t get any workers’ compensation. Presumably a sense of humor is the only thing that could compensate her — and the parties involved in these other five sex-related injuries:

1. The Hospitalization Hickey
The point of giving someone a hickey is to playfully annoy that person and to leave a mark that says “I was here” — not to cause a stroke. A Kiwi husband seems to have missed that memo. When smooching his wife in January 2011, he caused a blood clot to form and travel to her heart. As her left arm became paralyzed, the amorous session came to an end, and the woman was rushed to hospital and put on anticoagulants.

2. The Kiss of Deaf
When two young Chinese shared a kiss in December 2008, the man, perhaps overly eager, kissed the woman in such a way that pressure was reduced in her mouth, rupturing her eardrum. “While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution,” wrote China Daily at the time. The woman was expected to regain full hearing in her left ear after two months.

3. Concrete Proposal
Dr. Peter J. Stephens and Dr. Mark L. Taff wrote an article for an academic journal about one of their patients — a sober and healthy 20-year-old found with a foreign object in his rectum. The patient had been “fooling around” with his boyfriend when the two of them came up with the idea to stir a batch of concrete mix and get a funnel. The rest is medical history. “Examination of the specimen revealed a perfect concrete cast of the rectum, measuring 12 x 7 x 5 cm and weighing 275 g,” the doctors wrote in their article.

4. Kama Sutr-Ow!
A Russian couple in their 50s decided to spice things up at home and borrowed a book of Kama Sutra positions from a friend. One of the positions they tried out was indrani, or the “deck-chair position,” in which the woman draws up her knees so her legs are jammed under her partner’s armpits, or else draped over his shoulders. Problem was, once in that position, the woman had a muscular spasm, and locked the two of them together. Struggling for an hour to break free, they finally had to call paramedics for help. They were successfully separated.

5. A Pleasant Buzz
According to the racy U.K. tabloid Daily Star, 24-year-old Amanda Flowers began suffering from a condition known as “persistent genital arousal disorder” after falling off from a Wii Fit board and twisting a nerve. Now she claims to find mere vibrations of her food processor and mobile phone stimulating. “With no cure I just have to try to control my passion by breathing deeply,” she says. “Hopefully one day I’ll find a superstud who can satisfy me.”

21 comments
FrankGulla
FrankGulla

Number five sounds like a blessing for some guy. Where can I find a woman like that ? LOL !

RobertHarvey-Kinsey
RobertHarvey-Kinsey

I think the concrete one is fake or another concrete like substance was used. Concrete is highly caustic before it cures, gets very hot in enclosed areas, is highly abrasive, and would have trouble flowing down a narrow tube because of the aggregate. If a person were to do this, they would end up burning their rectum and removing it by pulling it out would do some serious damage to the person's rectum and sphincter. 


I do repairs with concrete and have had concrete get in my gloves. After a bit it burns bad and if not removed t causes the skin to soften and slough off. I cannot imagine a person enduring such a thing for any lenght of time.

bwweinstein
bwweinstein

"Persistant genital arousal disorder" is a familiar condition for every boy over age 12. 

SmoothEdward1
SmoothEdward1

We need to get this stuff on TV with a new show called, the Kinky Camera.

Xi Xi Wang
Xi Xi Wang

Hey Australia, we made it into the Times!

Ram Adavan
Ram Adavan

Rachel :D what do you think about this :) lol

Rick Seymour
Rick Seymour

Amy Bruce somehow I can imagine no.5 happening to you

Colin W Partridge
Colin W Partridge

Fairly sure whoever runs TIME Facebook page will be fired after the woeful spelling and grammar in this post

Eric Ian Lim
Eric Ian Lim

Embarrasing to rush to an E.R about anything sex related injury. Imagine... nurse - maam whats your emergency? Uh.. uh... uhm something i was playing with broke inside me

Shuki Raz
Shuki Raz

TIME.com has really reached the bottom of the barrel. Are there no more news to print?

DeweySayenoff
DeweySayenoff

@Shuki Raz "Are there no more news to print?"

"News" is a singular noun, even if it generally refers to many things.  There is no pleural for news.  Because of that, it's never used  with a plural verb like "are" because it is always referred to in the singular.  It's always "the news is", never "the news are".  So the proper present tense interrogative verb to start that question would be "Is" since it's referencing the singular noun "news".

"Is there no more news to print?"

English is a pain to learn, I agree.  Most native speakers don't get it right most of the time, which makes it harder for those who don't learn it natively to pick it up.   I thought I'd help you out there.

And to answer your question, sure, there's always more news to print, but this isn't print, it's virtual.  And even if it doesn't interest you, it's interesting or entertaining to others.  Because Time must cater to a variety of interests in order to stay in business, it can't just cater specifically to yours.  There are also a myriad of other news sources besides Time that you may find more to your tastes and interests.  Each source of news expects the reader to discern from the titles what articles interest them, and to finish reading ones the that deliver on what the title offers.

Those who aren't interested in an article based on the title should know better than to read it in the first place, let alone comment on their disinterest in it.  Given that, for a change, the title was relatively descriptive of the article's topic and content, any waste of your lifetime invested in this whole endeavor is entirely your fault.